Of Christmastide and Faux Santas
by Nacarat Epos Seville
Summary: It's Christmas time aboard the Thousand Sunny, and something is wrong with Cassie the 'cabinboy'. The crew try to cheer her up and Ace drops by for a visit. Warning! May contains traces of an OC.


Hello everyone! Here I am lazy as per always! And for proof of my laziness, HERE'S A BELATED CHRISTMAS ONE SHOT! Over two weeks later T_T.... This does feature an OC character so if that bothers you feel free to take off now. This is dedicated to my dear friend Apollo Pompano and Mizu K the Story Doctor because she messaged me and gave me many 'wtf' moments in my mornings. Yeah, let's just get this over with...

OH! And the reason why Luffy calls Acasia (a-cass-ee-a) 'Cake', is because he has problems pronouncing her name after reading it first. I just think Luffy is like that.

**Disclaimer: I own not One Piece but I do infact own Acasia**

* * *

**Of Christmastide and Faux Santa's**

Twas' the night before Christmas aboard a ship in the sea,  
The Thousand Sunny, its captain and his crew of pirates, all eight you see?  
But wait a moment, and we'll spy one more!  
A stowaway girl, what's she doing by that door?  
Her head hung low and her shoulders slumped lower  
Have you ever seen a teenage girl more sober?  
Her head full of curls and two big left feet  
(Incomparably useless if you asked a certain swordsman who sleeps!)

But why is this girl so sad on this eve?  
A time of good cheer or so I believe,  
However, after tonight things turn quite sour  
For what ghastly things would occur within just one hour…

* * *

"Can we open them now?" Luffy whined to his cooking companion for the (as Sanji liked to put it) "friggen last time."

"NO! GET AWAY FROM THAT TREE!" hollered Nami the navigator, who thought herself to be the only adult here (besides Robin). "YEAH! LISTEN TO MY PRECIOUS NAMI-SWAN~!" Sanji added with a quick kick upside Luffy's head before he continued to pour the lovely ladies of the crew some delicious and expertly crafted nog.

Luffy crossed his arms and pouted. Christmas! Oh Christmas! How he loved Christmas! Why must his cook boss him around on this night of nights?! The night before _the_ day! The day Santa came down to the chimney to give good pirate captains (such as himself) presents, and gave lumps of coal to people like cooks who never fed their captains enough!

He eyed the mountain of presents under the tree with a mischievous grin. "Don't even think about it!" Nami nagged at him from her seat at the table shaking her fist as a warning. "But Nami!' Luffy whined.

"I-is Santa really coming?" asked Doctor Chopper his face all hopeful with childish wonder. "Of course!" Assured the amazing Usopp, "I met him once you know? I THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP CAME AND HELPED SANTA SAVE CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR!" and with that proceeded to tell his captivated audience of Captain and Doctor his lengthy and only slightly exaggerated tale.

Zoro sighed. Couldn't these idiots ever quiet down for once? Robin laughed slightly at him. The swordsman turned towards her, "Enjoying yourself swordsman-san?" Zoro took a swig of nog and replied, "I would if I could actually get some sleep tonight without these idiots waking me every minute to ask if 'Santa has arrived?'" Robin smiled at him and the excited crew. Christmas surely was a special time and one she had no experience with, seeing as she had no where to celebrate it before. Nothing seemed to stop the nice, warm feeling that filled the room.

Franky was making final touches to the tree, with a flourish he topped his masterpiece with what he called, 'The Super Starr!' with an extra 'r' to add to its superness. "There!" he declared with a pose, "Our tree is now SUPER!"

The crew all gathered around to bask in their ultimate Christmas tree. Not a sad face was to be seen, that is until…

Acasia sighed deeply, a sigh so full of despair that anyone who paid enough attention could swear that the tree sagged a little. Of course this attracted the attention of the happy crew.

Acasia Lawrence, their usually sunny-smiled stowaway girl and appointed "cabinboy" was... dare they say it? Sad on Christmas Eve?!

"Hey Cake!" called Luffy, (ignoring the insults from Sanji and his, 'her name is Cassie-chan!'s) "What is wrong?" Cassie just sighed again, "Its nothing Luffy."

Luffy pouted. How could one of his Nakama be sad on the most amazing holiday of the year? He cocked his head to the side, "Then why did you sigh?" She sighed again, "See? You sighed again!"

"I… I'm just gonna go lie down for a little" she replied and left for the sick bay. "Ah, perhaps cabinboy-san is sick?" Robin noted. "Uwah! My poor Cassie-chan!" Cried Sanji, "I'll make her some soup!"

"We better call a doctor!" insisted Chopper. "You are a doctor!" Franky pointed out. Luffy stared at the doorway where 'Cake' just left, seemingly in thought. "Luffy?" Nami asked. "I think I have an idea" he said.

The entire crew froze. "EH?!" They all exclaimed. And with that he took off.

In the sick bay, Cassie lay between the sheets of the bed. Another sigh, escaped her mouth. Another Christmas, was her thought, as she reminisced upon that one night so many years ago…

And then he entered…

* * *

An ungodly shriek could be heard throughout all of the Thousand Sunny and seemed to echo all across the sea. The crew all rushed to the sick bay, weapons drawn and ready. Where they stumbled upon a scene they had not predicted.

"Ace? Why're you dressed up like Santa?" asked a very confused Usopp. There was an awkward silence while the Mugiwara Pirate Crew took time to process Ace dressed in a big red suit and hat, just add a faux beard and he'd be a great candidate for jolly old St. Nick!

The laughter was uncontrollable. Most of the crew was reduced to a laughing mess and even Zoro was shedding a tear or two. Ace's cheeks coloured red, and he scratched his cheek. "Well, Luffy told me to come visit for Christmas and when I got here earlier he asked me to do him a favour."

"H-he asked you to dress up as S-Santa?!" asked Usopp trying to calm down. "Who is this joker anyway?" asked Franky. "He's Luffy's older brother," explained Nami, "We met him earlier before you joined the crew."

"So, why are you in our Sick Bay dressed as Santa anyway?" questioned Zoro. "AH!" yelled Sanji, "and what happened to Cassie-chwan?!"

"Uh," started Ace, "Well Luffy asked… me… nurgh…" slurred the Fire Fist as he slipped into another narcoleptic fit. "Is he okay?!" exclaimed Chopper. "It appears as though he is sleeping," Robin pointed out.

"Eh?" Luffy stuck his head around the corner, "did you surprise her Ace?" Zoro raised his eyebrows at Luffy, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I asked Ace to dress up as Santa and surprise Cake since she kept sighing all the time," Luffy explained as his finger snaked up towards his nose. Sanji grabbed him by his shirt front, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO CASSIE-SWAN!!"

Ace seemed to wake up and look around a little, "I believe the person you're looking for is under the bed," he offered with a yawn. There was a pregnant pause in the room.

"EH? It's dark down here!" Luffy exclaimed his head stuck under the bed. "Stop that!" Nami smacked him across the head. A low whine bounced across the room. "Will you stop whining and get her out from under the bed?" The navigator began to massage her temples; it was just one thing after another with these people.

"But Nami! It wasn't me!" Luffy complained. "Then where did…?" Everyone looked toward the bed where the sounds of crying could be heard. "C-Cassie-chan?" Sanji called, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER YOU MORON?!" The cook brought his leg up and wailed down on the Captain's head with one blow. "HEY! I didn't do anything!"

"Pah!" Zoro sighed, "What kind of a pirate hides under the bed and cries?" A small curly-haired ball then proceeded to roll out from under the bed and remain in the fetal position on the floor. "Uh, Cassie?"

The group of pirates just stood in a stunned silence as the teenaged girl lay with her back to them sobbing and shaking. What does a group of Wanted Pirates do with an emotional teenage wreak?

"Uh? Sorry?" Ace offered, "Are you okay?" He reached out to touch her shoulder but missed as she rolled away. More silence. He tried reaching out again, and at the same time she rolled farther away.

"Let me try!" Luffy exclaimed and rushed up to touch the balled up girl. She dodged. Luffy went in for another shot, she rolled some more. It went in a pattern of Reach and Dodge until she picked up speed and smacked into the wall. The Captain laughed as he poked her continuously now that she couldn't escape anymore.

"STOP THAT YOU IDIOT!" Came the usual intervention of the chef. "Cassie-chwan!" he cooed changing his tone of voice, "Let me help you off the ground~" He extended his hand.

Acasia slowly reached out to put her hand on his and get up. "Ah, is she okay?" Asked Ace. Cassie froze. "Eh?" The rest of the crew watched with interest. "Hey!" Ace stepped forward again.

Cassie screamed and hid behind Sanji turning him around into a human shield. "Could it be that cabinboy-san is frightened of Captain's brother?" There was a mumble from behind the love-stricken Sanji. "What was that?" Asked Franky. "No…" came a small reply from the weirdly emotional cabinboy.

"I'm out of here," Zoro said as he left. "Eh?!" The green-haired swordsman had established that there was no threat and certainly didn't want to put up with a teenage girl and her _moods_. Ugh.

"Then what's wrong?" asked Chopper, "Are you sick?" More mumbles. "Huh?" Mumble, mumble. "Er… maybe you should lie down again?" Usopp gestured toward the bed.

Cassie pushed Sanji forward almost flinging him into the ground. "I AM SCARED OF SANTA CLAUS OKAY?!" There were more moments of silence while she stood puffing angrily trying to calm herself down.

Luffy was the first to snicker, and in a chain reaction that developed at the speed of a runaway sea train the sickbay was full of riotous laughter.

Usopp was on the ground, "S-s-s-Santa?! Scared of Santa?!" Chopper, Luffy, Franky they all laughed helplessly and Acasia quite embarrassed at her pathetic display in front of the pirate crew was only in more dismay to see even Nami and Sanji were laughing! Off in the corner Robin was having a chuckle or two at her expense! With many slip ups and a spastic run for the door she was off and down the corridor with only laughter waving her goodbye.

* * *

"Cassie!" Nami banged on the thick wooden door of the ship storage, "We're done laughing you can come out now!" She brushed a strand of her orange fringe out of her eyes. Why must she be so difficult?! It's not like it wasn't funny! With a sigh she backed away from the door and into the kitchen to join everyone else.

Robin looked up from her coffee as she entered. "How is cabinboy-san, Miss Navigator?" Nami flopped down in a chair exasperated, "She refuses to come out! I think she somehow managed to barricade the door with all our supply barrels." Nami paused to spear some of Sanji's scalloped potatoes on a fork and shove it in her mouth.

She took a sip of wine and turned back to Robin, "She yelled at me to go away and something about her not leaving until the 'Demon King of the Yuletide' and 'his sugarplummed deceitfulness disappeared.'" She motioned towards Ace (no longer bedraggled in the Santa outfit) who flinched a little as he sipped at the soup.

"Durf shish eenf shi aiesn't aippy et?" Nami hit Luffy over the head, "Don't talk with your mouthful!" Robin just gave her customary smile, "I believe the captain is trying to say that he is worried that she has not cheered up yet."

"She can't stay in there all night!" Franky insisted, "This is not super!" Zoro just gave a snort and shook his head. "You got something to say?" The shipwright turned sharply towards the swordsman. "Who's ever heard of a pirate who's afraid of an imaginary man?" he questioned tipping his chair back.

"Zoro!" Luffy burst out, knocking Zoro over backwards, "Santa's real! If you say that he won't give you presents!" Sanji came out of the kitchen door that moment, tripping over the green haired man, food and himself going sprawling. Hands sprouted from various areas to catch the meals in question before a mess was made. "What was that for you marimo-head?!" The cook yelled disentangling himself, "Are you trying to waste food?!"

"It wasn't my fault you stupid love-cook! You tripped over me!" Was the instant reply, "You shouldn't have been on the floor in the first place!" Sanji replied raising his leg up for a deadly blow as Zoro reached towards his swords. "Geez, it just never ends with those too," Nami sighed.

Usopp then pushed back his chair from the table, "Usopp…?" Nami looked at him. The sharpshooter did not reply and turned towards the hall door; exiting the room. Nami turned toward Robin questioningly and she merely replied with a shrug and a smile.

* * *

"I don't need them! I'll be safe in here!" were the mutters of a very mentally distressed teenaged girl. "Stupid creeper-fat-man. Who likes fat creepers in big red suits?! They look like giant tomatoes with rotten fluff hanging of the edges!" Acasia kicked a small broken wood chip towards her large barricade of protection concealing the only entrance to the storage room. "Yeah, rotten fluff, like… stale marshmallows. The gross snowman ones they sell at the One Berri store around now." There was a large growl issued from her stomach at this moment.

"Oh don't give me that!" She snapped at it, "They were nasty, how can you possibly get hungry at the thought of stale marshmallow snowman like…?" she paused to shiver. "Him."

There was a knock at the door then, which she withdrew herself more towards the back corner of the room. "Cassie-kun?" was the muffled question asked by the resident sharpshooter. "STATE YOUR NAME AND PURPOSE!"

"Uh… Captain Usopp! Defeater of monsters! King of the seas!" He boasted, "Cabinboy! Your Captain demands that you open this door immediately!" Silence. "…Immediately!" Still no reply. "H-hey open up will you?" There was the sharp moving of barrels and various objects from the door, before a hand reached out and pulled Usopp inside with a yelp.

"G-geez! What was that for?!" He brushed off his shirt. Cassie returned to her corner with a clang. Usopp turned toward the noise, "H-hey why are you wearing Sanji's old pots?"

"Protective armor," she replied curtly searching for a suitable sized pot to complete her masterpiece. "Don't you think you're taking this 'Santa-fear thing' too far?" She turned to face him, "This from THE spineless 'Captain' of the S.S. Feeble?"

"H-HEY!" He exploded! "At least my fears are normal, who the hell is afraid of a fat jolly man in a suit!" Cassie went red in the face, "He isn't _just _a jolly fat man, he's a terrorist disguised as a happy icon of children's joy!" Usopp simply raised an eyebrow, "Terrorist?" The cabinboy let out a deep sigh, "It all started when I was just seven years old…" she trailed off.

"I'm outta here," He waved as he opened the door to leave. "HEY! LISTEN TO MY TRAGIC STORY!" When the two crewmates were seated on the cold storage room floor, Cassie began again.

"It was my seventh Christmas, I remember it so well because that was the year my Mom bought a new star for our Christmas tree and I asked 'Santa' for one of those Pirate Pamela Play sets, when I still trusted him that is. Anyway! It was the afternoon of Christmas day and I was happily playing with Pamela and her real action pirate ship. Dad was outside shoveling the driveway, I could see him through the window. I was waving to him, when all of a sudden I heard a large and sharp cracking noise from farther down the road. I couldn't see it, though! But Daddy dropped his shovel and looked really shocked then he started yelling and running away. So I ran outside to take a look, and then I saw him." She paused eyes going wide.

"It was him, Mr. Demon Claus himself driving one of the snowplows. Except he was out of control! He was driving across our neighbour's lawns and was heading towards our house! I ran across the street toward my father, mom was in town buying groceries for dinner so there was no one else inside. Then, **crunk **went out house! He took out our Christmas tree, my three day old snowman and my neighbour's cat, Regis." Cassie was crying now.

"We had to go and stay in a neighbour's house for weeks," she sniffed. Usopp sat silent for a moment, "…Wow, that's…" the sharpshooter paused to think of the appropriate condolences.

Cassie blew her nose on a hanky, "T-there's more." She continued. "The local law enforcement showed up and arrested the big fat man and his stupid red suit and while they were walking him out of the rubble, he slipped on some ice and went sliding. The marines tried to grab him but they were too slow and…" She stopped to take a deep breath.

"All I remember is his huge, fat red-self sliding towards me, and then I woke up in the hospital with a concussion and a broken collar bone." She turned towards her confidant of the moment, "It was my worst and last sworn encounter with Santa. From that year on I never wrote him another letter, I put a bunch of forks in the fireplace ever Christmas Eve and my parents never spoke of him again."

"It was quite embarrassing, actually," Cassie twirled a short curl around a finger. "Kids used to make fun of me for it, and I had to stay inside as much as possible this time of year to prevent myself from having a run in with one of the local 'Santas,' the ones who hang out on the street corners, or in town, and I hated, HATED the Picture with Santa booth that was set up in the town square every year." She trailed off.

Usopp sat there digesting the tale of Cassie's woes. "…I think you should face your fears." Acasia collapsed in a heap of pots and tins, "Y-you think I should, what?!"

"THAT IS WHAT I AS CAPTAIN USOPP WOULD DO!" The sharpshooter stood up, "We're pirates! We are going to face all kinds of dangers and scary situations, so we can't have you chickening out on us!" He pointed at Cassie. "Hey! That's pretty hypocritical of you! Every time a monster shows up you're the first quaking in his boots!"

"But I've faced them still!" Was his rebutttle, the teen girl was silenced. "I'm afraid, and probably weak by myself, but together with this crew I have nothing to be afraid of!" He clenched his fists, "I made my decision once, about what was important and I've learned this, if nothing at all, Nakama are important! You're our Nakama too, but if you can't get stronger then you're going to be left behind!"

"That's why you should face your fears! You're part of the Straw Hat Pirate Crew now! You need to live up to the expectation! What would you do if you were about to reach your dream and this stupid phobia got in your way?! You aren't gonna chicken-out like that are you?!" Usopp breathed heavily, his speech been made.

"Yeah," Cassie mumbled from her seat on the ground, "You're right!" she grinned, "All these years of hiding and being made fun! Well, no more! I, Acasia Lawrence shall face this thing head on!" Usopp offered a hand out to her and helped her off the ground, "Thanks Usopp!"

"Oh!" Usopp shook his head from side to side, "It was nothing I am quite inspirational to men everywhere!" He rubbed his nose. "Uhuh," she nodded, "There's a spider on your shoulder."

"AGH!" He screamed and ran in circles, "G-get it off! What if it bites me?!" Acasia smiled, tossed the pots back in a heap and left the storage room. She stretched her back and then made a crazy grin. "Alright fatman, its revolution time."

* * *

Back in the dining hall, things had finally calmed down with an intervention force from Nami, and everyone was seated and eating. Well almost everyone, "I'll go bring this tray to Cassie-chwan!" Sanji sang as he twirled towards the hall and reached to open the door.

However, to everyone's surprise it was this moment that Ms. Acasia had decided to kick said door open and move full steam ahead towards the table. "Ah, cabinboy-san?" Robin asked. There was no reply as she ran forward stepped up on the bench and jumped over the table to tackle Ace to the floor.

The rest of the crew just stared, "Uhm… my name is Ace, I never introduced myself to…?" He began awkwardly. Cassie just stared at him then kissed her teeth, "Tsk, your not Santa!" And with a huff, got up off the ground and stormed out of the dining room and back out to the hall, slamming the door as she went.

Sanji slid down the wall now free from being smooshed there by a violent, storming teenager. "Well, that was weirder than usual," Franky commented, "I thought she said she was afraid of Santa?" Usopp just rubbed his nose, "Who knows?" shrugged and went back to his meal. Nami and Robin shared a look, "Oh, dear."

"Hey are you planning on going to sleep tonight?!" Nami yawned as she banged on the storage door, once again fortified to protection. Robin put a hand on her shoulder, "I do believe that cabinboy-san is taking the night watch tonight." The navigator just sighed, "Fine, whatever." And together they left to enter the girl's cabin.

One hour. It was now precisely one hour before Christmas and Acasia Lawrence slipped out the door and onto the deck. Making herself comfortable in the crow's nest she wrapped herself up in blankets to settle down for a long time of waiting. Or what seemed like a long time in the least. Now was the moment! If he did exist – well, he didn't – but if he somehow did; she would face her fear! Her and her good friend Mr. Aluminum Hockey Stick, not that she was trying to hurt him! That was just in case of a random pirate attack or something! Yeah, it was an "in case of emergency" item.

But where was this fat guy anyway? She was an early to bed, early to rise sort of person, and she was having a very hard time keeping her eyes wide open and alert to any unidentified flying sleighs. She had set up many safety nets, tossed the customary cutlery in the chimney and set up a bear trap under the Christmas tree. She was all set.

Then she heard the sudden jingle, jingle in the air and whipped her head up trying to look around. It was during this moment that she unfortunately stepped on a patch of ice and slid backwards smashing her head on the hard edge of the crow's nest. There by knocking herself out, and missing her much awaited chance.

"Ho ho ho," laughed a very rotund shadow, "Now who do we have here?"

* * *

"Hey Cake wake up!" Acasia woke up to find herself on the deck of the ship. "Eh?" she whipped her head around curls only more enforced by the bed head of sleeping on wooden planks. She yawned and stretched before turning to her captain. "What's happening?" Luffy kept poking her in the face, "What's happening?! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" He shouted and grabbed her, "C'mon there are presents from Santa!" Cassie could only try glance around to find all of her traps removed as her captain whipped her up and ran full speed towards the Christmas tree inside with his cabinboy tucked under his arm.

When they entered the room, there was an abundance of gifts all around. Some of the crew had already dug into it. And Luffy abandoned Cassie to the floor to bounce over to his gifts. "Good Morning cabinboy-san," Robin greeted her from the couch. Cassie went over to join her and replied, "Mornin' Robin."

She turned to see Ace leaning on the side of the couch, just watching the mess and cheer. "Who are you?" She asked bluntly, he just laughed, "I guess I never did introduce myself…" Suddenly Cassie smacked a fist down onto her open palm, "Ah! You're that weird Santa-cosplayer!" Ace just chuckled slightly, "Ah, no, I'm actually Luffy's brother…"

"HEY CAKE!" Luffy appeared covered in wrapping paper, "look I'm a giant present!" Chopper and Usopp laughed along, while Franky joined in the action, trying to see who could be a better 'present'.

Zoro was passed out on the floor with a few new bottles of alcohol, and Sanji was looking at a new knife set, when Nami came over and gave Cassie a huge rectangular box. "This one's for you," she said handing it over, "but it doesn't say who it is from." Robin and Nami shared there usual look-conversation. Nami could only shrug and shake her head.

Cassi tore off the paper to find a big white box underneath with a neat letter taped to the top. She ripped it off and tore it open. It was a crisp white stationary with holly all around the edges. _Acasia Lawrence_, it began.

_Acasia Lawrence,_

_It has come to my attention that you have suffered from some severe mental trauma as a child. And I do believe it is partly my fault. For which I would like to formally apologize. But I am glad to see that you are trying your best to participate in the holiday spirit. This is a gift of my appreciation for the past few years that you have not received presents from me. Please, use it well._

_Yours truly,_

_Santa_

_P.S. Please don't put cutlery in the fire place anymore!_

Cassie just stared at the letter, "What does it say?" Nami asked. Acasia only shook her head in reply and turned to stare at Usopp. The sharpshooter noticed and looked at her, "W-what?!" Cassie continued to give him a dirty glare, she folded up the letter, "Nothing."

Then without much more ado, she proceeded to open the big white box to see this much awaited gift. She couldn't help the big, bold grin that nearly split her face in two, at her surprise! All shiny and new and tied up with a bow! Maybe Santa did exist! She couldn't think of anyone in the crew with enough screws loose to give her this!

'Twas the day after Christmas  
And all through the ship  
Was a very happy cabinboy  
With a new weapon to equip!

"Oh, Zoro!" She called, how could she not feel on top of the world? She had faced her fear and best of all she had a new friend to take with her on her adventures! Her and her trusty, new chainsaw; Mr. Chompy! Plus, he doubled as a weapon of vengeance against evil green haired swordsmen who made fun of teenage girls and their phobias!

The sound of the chainsaw revving could be heard all throughout the ocean.

**Merry Christmas!**

* * *

**Tadah! And there you have it folks! Feel free to tell me how I did with my first, One Piece fanfiction and first One Shot. Review or PM ! And most of all MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS! And big Hello to all other celebrated religions! It's Eastern Orthodox's Christmas soon actually! So there you go! **

**Peace!**

**Nac  
**


End file.
